Hermione and The Mirror of Erised
by mspolapotter
Summary: Hermione's four encounters of the Mirror of Erised in her entire lifetime. Not for the one who hopes for a happy ending.
1. A Wish of Acceptance

Hello everyone!

I'm back with the end-of-the-year fic. This might stretch over to the first-second week of 2012. This will be really short.

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><p><strong>Disclaimer:<strong> I do not own anything unless stated.

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><p><strong> <em>Hermione and the Mirror of Erised<em>**

_a Fanfiction by mspolapotter_

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><p><em><strong> Chapter 1<strong>: A Wish of Acceptance_

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><p>Everyone thought that Hermione was a model child.<p>

She was very studious. Always at the top of the class. Never letting anything distract her. She always smiled. The teachers liked her, because she wasn't a snob, she wasn't a kiss-up.

What no one knows however, is the lengths that Hermione would go to in order to study to the fullest. No, this was not discipline. This was far more than discipline. I guess I can compare this to anorexia, except instead of a voice whispering to stop her from eating; Hermione seems to have a voice whispering in her ear that makes her prioritize her studies above anything else, even her life.

Here she was, at eleven years old, in the Gryffindor common room, flashing angry looks at the direction of noise which, in her case, was everywhere. After five agonizing minutes of being unable to study, she stood up and closed her book, walked out of the common room unnoticed (she wasn't very tall either) and ventured through the halls, willing to let herself get caught, just to find a suitable place to study. For once, she felt no regrets in not having any friends.

Usually she'd made a lot of friends by now, but she was in a different world. In this world, blood mattered. There were some people who disliked her simply because she looked like a charity case. She was a muggleborn. In other words, magic hailed form neither her father's side nor her mother's. She'd been surprised when she got her letter. Of course she'd been excited. She was going to study magic! The learning opportunity was just too much to give up!

But now that she got here, she found herself wishing to go back home. She thought that when she'd switched schools, the teasing would stop. Well, no one called her "buck-tooth" or "lion hair" anymore. Instead they called her "know-it-all," "goody-two-shoes" or "teacher's pet." Ron, someone from her own house, called her a "nightmare" behind her back. Once a girl called Pansy from Slytherin house said that she was a "mudblood." She didn't know the meaning of the word, but she knew it was as nasty as a swearword because her classmates were more surprised that she didn't burst into tears immediately rather than because someone just said the word mudbl

She waved these thoughts away and stopped in front of a classroom. She took out her wand and whispered, "Alohomora." The door clicked open and she stepped in triumphantly.

At the front of the room was a very tall, very old antique mirror. There were several words engraved around it, that she didn't understand and didn't bother to read. She stepped in front of it and jumped slightly.

Her mum was there. And so was her dad. Except both of them had wands. Her mum flicked hers and the dishes began doing themselves. His dad flicked his and the TV in front of him turned on and pieces of popcorn flew to his mouth as he watched Quidditch.

She sat down in front of it for a while, her books lying forgotten on the nearby desk. She tried to think of a logical reason as to why the mirror reflected her that way, but she was too mesmerized. After all, if magic is possible, what isn't?

She rubbed her eyes, and the image changed. Pansy was behind her, smiling. They were best friends. She rubbed her eyes again. Now she was wearing Quidditch robes. Harry and Ron were behind her, congratulating her for being the Chaser who gained the most points.

She turned her head to say thanks, but there was no one to thank.

And at that moment, she snapped back to reality. Slowly, she backed away from the mirror, not wanting to be tempted again. She realized that everything in the mirror was an illusion. Tears sprang in her eyes.

She grabbed her books and carefully walked out. And then she ran as quickly and as quietly as she could, mentally slapping herself for being irrational.

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><p>So there! Happy end-of-2011 everyone!<p>

Love and Sugar Quills,

~mspolapotter


	2. A Wish of Friendship

OMG the reception for the story was mind-blowing. Thank you guys! I didn't expect it, because the other one about Ron which is You Are Here didn't have any reviews at all. So thanks! :)

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><p><em><strong>Chapter 2<strong>: A Wish of Friendship_

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><p>Everyone thought that Hermione was going out with Viktor Krum.<p>

And everyone was jealous of course. How could she, bookworm and know-it-all, snag a hunky Quidditch Player by the likes of Viktor Krum? Of course, it had left other girls bitter. She already had they Boy Who Lived as her best friend. How come she has the Tall, Dark and Handsome Seeker as well?

However, it wasn't only girls who were jealous. There was still Ron Weasley, her other best friend, who wouldn't talk to him. Well, Ron wouldn't use the word jealous per se, perhaps betrayed was the right word. Viktor, after all, was competing for the TriWizard Tournament against Harry.

Hermione was so ready for the night. It was the Yule Ball, and she'd said yes when Viktor Krum asked her to be his muse. She was flattered, but she still didn't understand why all the girls fawned over him, just like he didn't understand why they fawned over Harry. Mostly she agreed just to annoy Ron. Anyway, she was so prepared for the night. She'd told her mum to send over a pair of heels and she'd bought a really nice dress. She'd tried her best to tame her usually unruly hair. And she'd been successful. Lavender's jaw dropped upon seeing her. She could feel Parvati's confidence as Harry's partner drop down several notches when she saw the way he stared at her. She'd created a buzz when she entered the Great Hall on Viktor's arm. She swore she even saw Malfoy's eyes widen a bit. She'd executed the dance steps perfectly. It had all been worth it. Her night was wonderful. Until, of course, Ron made it clear that he still felt betrayed. "You're fraternizing with the enemy," he'd said. It was even worse when Harry sided with him. And it was beyond repair when the two of them stormed upstairs, completely ruining her night.

So here she was at fourteen, running while holding her heels in one hand and the skirt of her dress with the other. Her makeup was running on her face as the tears continued to stream down her face. With every step her hair bounced loose from the bun she'd so carefully crafted earlier that night. She just wanted to run away. She'd never felt like this since … since that night when she was in her first year and she wanted to go back home. And now she was that girl again, the girl who had no friends.

She stopped running and retreated to the next room. She felt the tiniest bit relieved when the knob turned easily. She entered and threw her heels on the floor and cried again. Nothing had changed. She was still the know-it-all. She was still the loner. She was still the odd one out.

And then out of the corner of her eye, she saw the odd shape that the shadow of the moonlight was making. It was a mirror. But she didn't recognize it as the mirror that she encountered because of the white sheet that partially covered it.

She stepped in front of the mirror. She was in her school robes. Ron's ears were red and he was smiling sheepishly as she laughed and rolled her eyes at him. Harry was behind them shaking his head at his best friend. He could see Viktor running away to somewhere. And then the image changed. Her dress was okay again. Her makeup was okay again. And she wasn't with Viktor.

She was with Ron. And he didn't wear those horrid robes. They were watching Harry and Cho on the dance floor. And then he held out his hand to her, asking her to dance with him.

This was just too much. She closed her eyes and more tears poured down her face. The brain was creating illusions again. She grabbed her heels and ran away, praying silently that her roommates weren't back yet so she didn't have to explain.

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><p>There you go! Last day of 2011! whoop whoop!<p> 


	3. A Wish of Love

I'm back with the final two chapters! Hope to get a headstart on Jaded Emerald 3 this week..

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><p><em><strong>Chapter 3<strong>: A Wish of Love_

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><p>Everyone thought she liked Ron.<p>

She always got hurt when she saw him and Lavender. She always had the urge to run away. Everyone assumed that she loved him more than just a friend. Harry however had nothing to worry about. Everyone was surprised when he kissed Ginny in the middle of the Common Room. And ever since, they'd been happy.

Of course no one knew the real reason why Hermione ran away every time she saw Ron with Lavender. She never told anyone. She thought it was really silly. She ran away…well…because_ it_ was happening. _It_, being her friends going away. When she was a child she'd always thought that they'd be together forever. But she realized that one day, they're going to have to be apart. One day, they'll get married, they'll have families and live in different houses, and the Golden Trio would be no more but a figment of history.

Hermione didn't like that idea. She didn't like the idea of losing her only real friends. Sure she had other friends, but she knew that most of them said awful stuff behind her back. And she knew this because her boys told her everything. As selfish as it may sound, she didn't want to be apart from them, ever. She cursed the hormones of her 16-year-old self for making her cry. She never cried this much. Then again, nothing ever threatened their friendship as much as this. She never had to fight for her boys. She knew that they'll always be by her side, no matter how much they bickered.

Now it had all changed. They'd fallen in love. And soon they would leave her behind. She knew she was destined to be an old maid forever. No one can ever love bushy-haired, buck-toothed, know-it-all Hermione Granger. Even if her curls weren't as wild as they were before. Even if she got her teeth fixed. Even if she tried to hold her tongue. She grew up around these people. They would always know her as that bushy-haired, buck-toothed, know-it-all and they would never let her live it down. But her boys…her boys accepted her for who she was without any judgment.

That was another thing. She'd secretly hoped to end up with one of them. She'd tried over and over again to fall in love with Ron or Harry, hoping that one day one of them would fall in love with her as well.

Ron will forever be the brother in her eyes. He was ridiculously taller than her. He treated her like a little sister, always teasing, always annoyed and yet always overprotective. She can't imagine living under one roof with just Ron. She knew she'd explode. She'd even thought of what kind of children she and Ron would have, but the thought made her shudder. It just felt wrong.

Harry…he was completely different. He always looked at her differently. He always looked out for her, but knew his limits. He avoided arguments with her. He teased her, yes, but not as much as Ron did. She could imagine being married to Harry. The thought of having children with Harry was not just bearable, she dreamed of it, which was weird since she'd never even thought about getting married ever since she was eight. That was the age when she realized how much of an ugly duckling she was.

Right now, tears poured down her face as she thought of these things. She could still hear noises from the common room, but the happiness somehow made her depressed. She knew that she could never be as happy as them.

Soon, she heard footsteps descending. She wiped her eyes furiously, expecting it to be a lower year. She was surprised when she felt a strong pair of arms wrap around her. She inhaled the scent and she cried even harder. He comforted her, whispering soothing words into her ear and rubbing her back. Eventually she stopped and he pulled away. He looked at her with a smile that said, _"You'll be fine, yeah?"_ But then again, he didn't know.

Looking into his eyes just made her cry again, because she knew that those eyes could never be hers. That she would probably wake up alone for the rest of her life. That she was condemned to spend the rest of her life condemned to pretend that she was happy for everyone around her while she wallowed in her sadness by herself. She knew her future, and she wanted so badly to accept it.

So she ran away from him. She ran away as fast as she could. She stopped running when she felt that the next step might break her apart. Instead, she shakily unlocked the door with her wand and entered. She slumped on the floor and cried noisily for the next half hour.

When she was somehow comforted, she looked up, only to see her own self looking back at her. But there was a hand on her shoulder. She traced the hand to a wrist…an arm…a shoulder…its own body…and she found the head. The man who had his arm on her shoulder smiled back at her, his eyes glowing.

She stood up shakily and she could see him assisting her reflected self. When she was standing as straight as she could (her knees still felt wobbly), he snaked one arm around her waist and clutched her protectively. She leaned into his shoulder…

But no one was there.

She rubbed her eyes and turned around. She'd been fooled by that blasted mirror again. She let out another strangled cry; the sound muffled was by her hands on her face and she ran away, not wanting to see that illusion ever again.


	4. A Wish of Regret

**IF YOU DO NOT LIKE UNHAPPY ENDINGS TURN BACK NOW.**

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><p><em><strong>Chapter 4<strong>: A Wish of Regret_

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><p>Everyone thought that she was okay.<p>

Her best friend was getting married. They were all back at Hogwarts for it. Famous Harry Potter is finally getting married, to no less than his best friend's sister, Ginny Weasley. Ron stood by him not only as his best man, but also to watch over the two of them in case Harry attempted something.

Hermione was looking very beautiful today. Her Maid of Honour dress was very pretty, hugging her in all the right places and making her skin glow beautifully. It was fitting for the girl who was supposed to be the second most beautiful woman at the wedding. All the radiance however, was a mere façade. She knew how she felt inside—like crap. The only man she loved was getting married. And she had a front row seat to enjoy the show.

She smiled as she continued down the aisle, flowers in hand. She imagined it was her own wedding. Harry smiled at her gratuitously—it had taken a lot if persuasion before she finally agreed to be Maid of Honour. She'd used up all her excuses, but in the end, she had no choice. It was her best friend's last wish before their friendship completely changed.

She turned at the end of the altar and remained standing. The rest of the people stood up as well when the music swelled. Harry became nervous and it showed. He was fidgeting and Ron had to tap him on the shoulder reassuringly every once in a while. It seemed to take the bride forever to reach the end of the altar, but after several agonizing moments, she finally did. Harry stepped forward and Mr. Weasley symbolically placed Ginny's hand in Harry's and together they walked to the altar to face the Binder.

Hermione never thought that weddings were beautiful. Sure they were, if you were the bride. But then again, she was "always the bridesmaid and never the bride." She'd made quite the achievement today, seeing as she's not a bridesmaid but the Maid of Honour.

The ceremony was too long in Hermione's opinion, but her ears perked up when the Binder said those magic words, "speak now or forever hold your peace." She had half a mind to speak against their union. After all, Harry was hers first. She only resisted because she knew that this was the happiest day of his life.

She wanted to turn away when they exchanged their vows and rings. But she remembered that in a wedding, everyone was allowed to cry. So she wept openly, letting the others believe that she was shedding tears of joy, not regret. She suppressed sobs successfully from time to time.

When the Binder finally announced them as husband and wife, a sob escaped from her mouth, but the others looked at her with a smile, thinking that she was just emotional over the happiness of her two friends. Using this as an excuse, she walked away. When she was out of the party's sight, she took off her heels and ran.

How could she have been so stupid? She'd been waiting for it for years, but when he finally did it, she let her rational (or rather irrational) thinking get the best of her, thinking that Harry was just joking when he proposed to her. Other than that, she also took Ginny's feelings into account before her own. She and Harry hadn't been together for many years at the time, whereas he and Hermione were going steady for two years. He'd finally popped the question and she was, simply put, too stupid and too much of a martyr to accept the fact that the love of her life _could_ love her back.

_This is your punishment_, she told herself. _For your stupidity, Hermione Granger, you are to spend your life watching him from afar, because you were as dumb as to let him go when he was already in your arms. _She slapped herself mentally several times, but stopped when she realized that every time she would see Harry would be a direct blow to the heart from now on. Her destiny had changed, sure. She wasn't going to spend her life alone. She knew that Ron was going to propose to her. And she was going to say yes. It was what everyone expected from her, after all. Who was she right now to play with anyone's feelings? Hers had been played enough.

She stopped in front of an empty classroom and threw the door open. This was a habit of hers, she noticed. Cry, run away and seek refuge in an empty classroom. And for some reason, she always entered the same one. It didn't change even now that she was twenty-five years old.

She saw that mirror again, the one that haunted her with false illusions, images that made her want to step in and get lost in that world forever. She walked forward until she was facing the mirror and gasped when she saw the image fade into view. She was still the same, except that she had a veil over her face. She noticed her reflected hands and saw that there was a ring on her finger. Her hand however, was being held by someone who also had a ring on his finger.

She knew she would dread it, but she traced the hand and once again found a body. She looked up at the head and it was the same.

Harry was staring back at her with that same smile he'd always given her. She cried and cried until she collapsed to the floor, staring at her reflection. Harry was still behind her, but now he was comforting her as she cried. She stayed there for hours on end, until finally, Professor McGonagall found her. She'd fallen asleep in front of the mirror, still in her dress. She looked down at her with a knowing smile. She flung her arms around her old professor and cried again.

In a few months, she was married to Ron, but of course, she never told him the truth. She'd grown better at suppressing her feelings as the years passed by. She'd tried to come back to Hogwarts to find that room with the mirror, but she never found it. She would find it only when she was depressed, like that time when she had her first miscarriage. She would Floo to McGonagall's office and her old Professor would nod at her. Then she'd whisper thanks before running off and finding that room again where the mirror would show her, her life if she'd said yes to Harry on that night.

She forgot how many times she did this routine, cry, run, enter the empty classroom, find the mirror and stare at it for hours before running away again, afraid of the illusions. However, no one, not even she, ever found out that it was the Mirror of Erised that showed her these haunting illusions. No one got in the Room of Requirement the way she did, because no one else at Hogwarts was subjected to the same fate as hers.

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><p>So there we go. This is only a ficlet I thought of in class.<p>

See you in the next HarMony, which is hopefully Jaded Emerald 3

Love and Sugar Quills,

~mspolapotter


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